Let’s get something straight: if you still think that putting yourself first makes you selfish, you’re wrong. If you want to show up for others, you need to show up for yourself first.
Are you a people pleaser?
Showing up for yourself is a habit… and so is people-pleasing.
Which means you can break it.
I certainly have been a people pleaser most of my life.
But in the past 2 years or so, I got rid of it.
Let’s talk about people pleasing first.
Don’t make the same mistake as so many others; if you have a habit of people pleasing… stop believing that you can’t change it.
The only reason it’s still part of your identity is because you choose to.
So in case I didn’t make this clear: people pleasing is a habit. Not who you are.
So it’s time to let go of that identity.
Unless you want to be stuck in the never ending cycle of feeling guilty every time you try to put yourself first? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
So first things first get rid of your guilt. Now I of all people know that it’s no easy task. That’s why I also wrote this article to help: get rid of guilt
The reason you need this is that you’ll have a very hard time showing up for yourself, no matter how good my tips are, if you keep feeling guilty every time you try.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
What does it mean to show up for yourself?
Showing up for yourself means that you put yourself first.
Showing up for yourself means that when you make a tough decision, scratch that, ANY decision, you ask yourself what’s best for YOU.
Even if you don’t feel like making that decision on this moment.
Here are some examples of how you show up for yourself (or not):
- Saying no to a coworker despite the guilt of “not helping them out” (I told you, get rid of that guilt asap!)
- Saying no to one more drink despite the temptation when you know you’ll feel tired the next day
- Not a snoozing your alarm when it goes off in the morning
- Going to bed at a decent hour when you’re working early the next morning instead of watching one more Netflix episode
- Tackling hard tasks on your to-do list instead of procrastinating (for example: taking care of your personal finances)
- Not skipping a workout when you’ve made the decision to exercise at least 3x a week
How I show up for myself
There was a time where I was completely disconnected from myself.
I would just let everyone else make decision for me and simply “do life” on autopilot.
I was a people pleaser. Or should I say, I had the habit of pleasing people.
So much so that I didn’t know how to make one decision for myself.
Down to what I would pick on the menu at the restaurant.
Yes, that bad.
Then I started to slowly take back control of my life.
This was hard. Very hard.
I started from very far and had a long way to go.
So I started by implementing tiny habits in my life. One at a time.
And it worked. It took me some time to get to where I am today (waking up early, working out, following up with my goals, having boundaries, etc.).
But slowly; I got there.
And it started with showing up for myself daily.
And the one reason why it’s really works is because these small actions add up over time.
Like my advices so far?
26 ways you can show up for yourself daily
Before you start, know this:
These are great ideas. However, it’s only worth so much if you don’t follow through.
Showing up for yourself daily means to REPEAT these actions daily.
Even when. You don’t feel like doing it
So I strongly suggest you pick just a few of them to start with and work on developing a habit instead of simply checking off a list once.
Show up for yourself daily:
- write at least 1-2 sentences in your journal every day (this article can help: night time journal prompts
- tell one of your friend or family member you love them
- Set an intention in the morning and a boundary with yourself – and respect it
- Write a list of red flags you should pay attention to in your next relationship
- Write down a goal for the week and the day
- Make a daily budget and write down all your expenses on a spread sheet
- Practise a new skill for 10 minutes (skillshare)
- Read 5 pages of a non-fiction book (Amazon list)
- Eat one more fruit/veggie
- Set your alarm 30 minutes earlier and don’t hit snooze when it goes off
- Develop a morning routine and stick to it
- Audit your nutrition and make a nutrition plan and write down everything you eat
- Declutter one drawer, cupboard or closet in your house
- Declutter your emails: delete or archive 10 emails
- Declutter your photos: go through your phone and delete 50 photos
- Go for a walk without your phone
- Set a monthly saving goal and transfer a small amount of money daily
- Learn a profitable skill (skillshare)
- Do at least one thing that makes you happy
- Write down your long term vision, create a vision board and look at it every day
- Track your habits, routine, self-care and goals
- Spend 1h without your phone
- Set a screen time limit on your phone past 9pm
- Get enough sleep every night
- Exercise for at least 30 minutes
- Create a night time routine and stick to it
Conclusion: showing up for yourself isn’t a one shot deal
If you want to make a real change, you need to be consistent in the way you show up for yourself. You don’t need to do all of the suggestions I listed above. You need to pick the most significant, one at a time, and make it a habit. Follow thorough. Track your progress. It will add up and that’s how you’ll make showing up for yourself a daily habit.
